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Wedding Planning

Timely, credible and useful advice for soon to wed couple

How to Deal with Demanding Parents

If your parents or future in-laws contributed to your wedding budget, you’re sure to feel some utang na loob that you’ll consider their opinions and requests when it comes to your wedding plans. But what if those opinions and requests turn into demands? Here’s how to deal.

The problem: They want to invite everyone they know.  

 When the guest list gets longer, the budget gets bigger, too. There’s more mouths to feed, more people to hold in the reception area, more wedding favors to order. With the number of people that they want to invite, the reception will most likely be filled with people you barely know, rather than your family and loved ones.

How to deal: First, you and your fiancée have to take care of talking to your own parents—you’ll deal with yours, and he’ll deal with his, to avoid any miscommunication or ill feelings. Let your parents know that as much as you would love to invite everyone to the wedding, there’s only room for a few more guests because you’re trying to save as much of the budget for your first year of marriage. If sounding money smart doesn’t work, compromise with them. Say that if there are guests who don’t RSVP on time and there are still extra seats to be filled, then it can be filled out by the friends of your parents.

The problem: The moms want to make their own gowns.

Your mom or future mother-in-law wants to have her own gown made for your wedding, and it sounds like a good idea, especially if you won’t be using your wedding budget to pay for it. But what if they come in a crazy, attention-grabbing, multicolored gown? What if the color they’ll choose will clash with your color theme? Or what if they come in white?

How to deal: The best way to control the situation is to offer them a lot of design choices, so that they’ll still be able to have control over how they’ll look, but they’ll still be within the same color theme as your wedding. If that doesn’t work, your last resort would be to give them swatches of the colors your wedding to serve as their seamstress’ guide.

The problem: Your mom or your future mother-in-law has an opinion about everything about your wedding plans—and expects you to follow it.

You grew up with an over controlling mom, and it’s coming out more than ever now. It starts out with her keeping you company during your food tasting or your first visit to your gown designer, but then you notice that she says no to what you and your fiancée like, and yes to what she wants. She even said that your dream wedding dress is too plain! Whose wedding is it, anyway?I am text block. Click edit button to change this text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

How to deal: It’s great that you’re including your mom or mother-in-law in the wedding plans, but it’s time to take your power back. Tell her gently and calmly that the wedding planner is now taking care of all the arrangements, and that you wouldn’t want to bother her anymore with the stress of wedding planning. If she still doesn’t take the hint, tell her the plans after you’ve finalized them (and paid the deposits!), so that you’ve already chosen what you and your fiancée want, while still keeping her in the loop.I am text block. Click edit button to change this text. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

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