How to Avoid Becoming a Bridezilla
Everyone knows it – planning a wedding is extremely stressful, from the invites to entourage to dresses and even to finding a catering in the Philippines. It is easy to turn into the woman we don’t want to become – a bridezilla!
Oxford Dictionaries defined bridezilla as a ‘woman whose behavior in planning her wedding is regarded as obsessive or intolerably demanding.’ Put simply, the focus of the bride-to-be is solely the wedding that she tends to become obnoxious and difficult. A portmanteau of bride and Godzilla, ‘bridezilla’ was first used around 1995. Discussed below are some practical tips so as not to stepped into the bridal epidemic of all time – Bridezilla Syndrome.
Wedding counselors said that there are specific scenarios leading to becoming a bridezilla. Unfortunately, majority of the brides-to-be are not aware of their bridezilla-esque attitudes and behaviors. These situations set a bad precedent for the wedding preparation itself and can ruin precious friendships.
1) Talking endlessly about the wedding
One of your friends ask, ‘So, how’s the planning going?’ and the next thing she knows, you are at the other side of the table telling your complaints about your coordinators, caterers, florists, makeup artist, etc. it is as if she is listening to a monologue. Indeed, a wedding can be a bit scary for the brides-to-be because of the crowd of confusing emotions surrounding the pending transition from being a single to a married woman. Give yourself time to let everything sink in. Allow for a gradual transition. Your fiancé will surely understand.
2) Becoming over-concerned about having a ‘perfect’ wedding
Wedding magazines are created for a reason. However, if you are going to duplicate everything you read about or saw on it, spending will only get way out of control. That is because you’d want everything to be bigger and better than what you have read about. Just remember–there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ wedding, not in this universe. Tell yourself that you are planning a wedding to be with the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Welcome changes and mishaps along the way and even on the wedding day itself! These are inevitable.
3) Neglecting your fiancé
In the middle of the day, your fiancé calls you to invite you for a late lunch or coffee. What will you tell him? ‘Sorry honey, I can’t meet you later. I will be meeting our… and our…’ These are neglectful behaviors that may breed disconnection between you and your fiancé. Take the time off. Spend time together. Don’t forget that because he is a groom-to-be he doesn’t want to take part to the wedding planning. Most grooms do.
4) Becoming a diva
“I had you for a bridesmaid because I know you can do this, this, and this. And also…” The worst case is having your maid of honor resigned from her post. While it is a must to delegate tasks, your bridesmaids have personal lives, too. Being too demanding is a tell-tale that you are incompetent to handle the preparation. What more a wedded life? Understandably, you want your close friends as close as possible, but the situation only breeds rifts and resentments. Delegate tasks accordingly. When all tasks are done, organize a simple get-together to celebrate the friendship. Just make it a pure fun gathering that has nothing to do with your wedding.
5) Blowing off the wedding budget
Extra payment for the gown, dresses and suits, for the champagne, for the blooms, etc. add up quickly. Before you realized it, you are taking your credit card out to pay for them. Three months after the wedding day, both of you are still paying the debts that the wedding accumulated, putting off the honeymoon for a later date. Not really a good scenario. The simplest tip: make a budget then, stick to it. Maximize the available resources.
6) Failing to acknowledge the parents’ dilemma
Perhaps, you’ve heard your father telling your mother, ‘Is she really going to marry that douchebag?’ or ‘Believe me, your daughter will come back here begging after just a year or so.’ These are not signs of distrust or uninterest, but rather confusing emotions buried under your fiancée’s scrutiny. The same goes with silly fights with your mother. It happens. Don’t turn away though. Just do your best to understand what your parents feel. Hey, it is not easy to give away their baby, and that’s you bride-to-be.
7) Becoming a bride-orexia
Some brides-to-be more than triple their trip to the gym at least three months before the wedding day. There are brides who buy wedding gowns up to two size smaller for the ‘motivation.’ Some even crash diet. On her wedding day, some guests and onlookers would say ‘Why does she look so thin and tired?’ You achieved the thinner waist–okay–but at what expense? Who are you pleasing?
- Give room to your parents’ whims
- Rest your body and mind for at least a week
- Welcome little compromises
- Accept there is no perfect wedding
- Stop comparing
- Relax however you please (yoga, warm bath, etc.)
- Listen and appreciate advices and opinions
- Keep options open
- Ask for help and use such to their best advantages
- Connect with your fiancé despite pressures and stressors
- Don’t sweat the petty things
- Keep your fiancé busy, too
- Know that being a control freak is no good
- Allow other people to vent about your attitude and approach
Eat no less than around 1,200 calories daily. Lose no more than two pounds weekly. If you must, hire a nutritionist for that healthy glow on your big day. There is no need to get ballistic over the wedding preps and the turn the wedding preps into fire-breathing moments. Consider these:
Weddings can really bring the worst in every bride-to-be. Even the most down-to-earth bride-to-be can spit fire when things don’t go as planned. Whenever bridezilla attacks lurk in the corner, just think of happy thoughts. Being with the man you’ve always dreamed of is a happy thought enough. So, prep your wedding Elsa-style – just let it go! Trust that everything will be alright. Just do your part and everything will fall on their right places.
Source: Weddings at Work | Bridal Guide | Wedding the Knot | Savvy Miss | WikiHow