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Wedding Planning

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10 Worst Things to Say to the Newlyweds

It’s true what most people say that if you have nothing nice to say, better just hush up. Such a gentle reminder is applicable to virtually all life situations–weddings included. Yes, there are conversational doozies that you must avoid at all cost. Below are the worst things to say to the newlyweds.

“This wedding must’ve cost you a fortune!”

An outright inappropriate remark, but a rather common one. Well, the total cost of the wedding and who foot the bill is not any of the guests’ business. These shouldn’t concern you the least. You are invited so you can witness their union and join in the celebration. Putting a price tag on everything you see–from the wedding gown to the favors–is improper lest discuss it with the newlywed where other guests can hear. Instead, think of discussing how the bride looks good on her gown or how the flowers blend beautifully with the background.

“[Insert name here]’s wedding is this and that…”

Imagine all the hard word involved in planning a wedding only to be compared to other couple’s wedding. That’s downright hurtful and no bride and groom deserve to be frustrated on their special day. Spare them the agony of thinking that their wedding is not good enough. Instead, think of discussing how each detail of the wedding is properly put together.

“When will we see little [insert name here] or little [insert name here]?”

B-A-B-Y is such a big word. This is one life goal that must be achieved once both of them are ready. Marriage is a foundation, so when they want to have a baby is up to them entirely. It’s probably not right for anyone to pressure the newlyweds. Let this be a part of private conversations between the newlyweds and the in-laws. Instead, think of discussing what their plans are right after the wedding including their honeymoon destination.

“Why was [insert name here] not invited?”

Often times, there is a reason why someone you think should be at the wedding is not invited. Never enter that uncharted territory. You are the last person that should bring up the topic. In the first place, you are not sure whether the couple invited that person or not. If you proved that the person is indeed uninvited, know that the newlyweds themselves had a hard time deliberating over the matter. Avoid talking about how big the wedding is because this precedes the ‘why’ questions. Instead, think of discussing how happy you are to see familiar faces again.

“Imagine how many of our friends had annulled/divorced…”

Such a lonely conversation starter! It’s as if you are anticipating the bride and groom to be a part of the statistics. Don’t. This should be a happy occasion and words like ‘break up,’ ‘separated,’ ‘annulment,’ ‘splitsville,’ ‘divorce’ and other such terms are off-limits. They just wed, so you might as well focus on the positive. Don’t let the newlyweds feel that their marriage is doomed from the start. Instead, think of discussing where did they do the prenup shoots or how he proposed to her.

“Tonight’s gonna be a big night.”

Please, skip this innuendo. Even if you are one of the VIPs, that doesn’t give you the right to speculate the newlyweds’ after-wedding activities. Any insinuation about what will happen next is also a no-no. Instead, think of discussing how the night is going.

“I always thought you’d end up with…”

No matter how you say this, it will only ruin what should be a joyful occasion. Neither the bride or groom would want to comment on this one, especially in front of one another. Don’t say this regardless of how much you dislike the bride or groom. Instead, think of discussing their love story and how they ended up with each other

“I remember when…”

Good thing, you remembered. But to talk about it in the wedding is not such a good idea especially if that something is between you and the bride or the groom alone. Secrets should stay as secrets, right? Otherwise, what you will say may spark a real argument between the two. So spare the bride and groom with one another’s dirty laundry–not in front of the newlyweds or their relatives. Instead, think of discussing how blessed the couple is by marrying each other.

“Do you really want to be Mrs. [insert surname here]?”

So, the groom’s surname is not so euphonious it is potentially an easy subject for heckling. Surely, the groom himself had to endure constant teasing from his friends way back his elementary days. Don’t add up to the list. They’ve already made a vow publicly, proving that your girlfriend is embracing her full identity. Such question is absolutely unnecessary. Instead, think of discussing how they triumph over the paperwork required in getting married.

“Can you…?”

No, they cannot. Let the bridesmaids and groomsmen help you–that is, if the matter is really important. In fact, the first persons that you should approach are the wedding coordinator, banquet manager, and event facilitator. They are there to help guests like you and address your concerns to the best of their capacities. Instead, think of discussing how helpful the staff is.

All of this point to only one thing: be a model guest. Be mindful of what you are saying to the newlyweds as well as to other people attending the wedding. It’s okay to speak up, but be careful and say only what’s nice and appropriate. Cheers!

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