Etiquette Guidelines for Social Media Use – Wedding Edition

We come to love stories we find online. We want to know the latest updates from people we are connected with. More than anything, we want to talk about these things. That’s the reason why sharing our stories through social media is one thing that we look forward to. Of course, if we have something funny or exciting to share, or good news to announce, we just can’t wait to tell the world about it, right?


More than stories we see, we love “love stories”, especially ours to be witnessed as well. In just a few clicks, tap or touch, we instantly share a piece of our love and life’s journey from being with someone officially, to being engaged, and to being wed. And there is really nothing wrong about it except for when we forget about something that is valued in public spaces like the online community. And here comes social etiquette.

We have to admit that sometimes (or most of the time) we are so overwhelmed with our emotions, or we’re just too lazy that we tend to overdo or fail to check our social media etiquette. And it is quite common in the online community that careless posts often result in raised eyebrows, numerous dislikes, or worse, offended feelings from your online social group.

So what is this social etiquette all about? What are the things to avoid? Before we begin with the list, let’s have this scenario first: So, you just said ‘yes’ with a ring on your finger. Yes, you’re going to finally tie the knot! Good news, right? You’re probably thinking now on how to broadcast the engagement up to the whole wedding preparations, but wait–before your mind starts to drift off here are the guidelines/recommendations to consider first in keeping that social etiquette in check:

1. Family first

Posting your engagement on Facebook or Twitter even before telling your parents or family sounds off, right? As your family, they deserve to be told first, or if not first, at least even before anyone else on your social friends list. Tying the knot is a special event in your life for your family, and it is a courtesy to let them know first, especially if they are really particular about this kind of gesture.

2. Sharing or bragging?

We have reasons for sharing our personal stuff online. Some of us do it out of being proud, while some of us do it so we can brag. So you want to post your diamond engagement ring on Facebook. You may have to ask yourself first: Is it really needed? Why would I want to post it? A photo with a ring on your finger may count in as sharing, but a photo focused on the diamond may count in as bragging. You might be asking, “What’s wrong with bragging about it, anyway?”  It’s because it might give people who get to see it the impression that you’re just after the (expensive) ring and not with being married with your fiance. Sometimes people sense that kind of thing right away, and yes, they will definitely judge you.

3. Posts flooding: Moderation is the key

We know you’re excited about your invitations, and shoes, and wedding dress, church, and venue, honeymoon, etc. so we understand why you can’t get enough of posting every little detail of your wedding preparation. But please, do consider not flooding the news feed of your friends with your 24/7 updates. Posting an enormous amount of details before the wedding not only annoys your social media friends, but it also dulls the thought of the wedding itself. People will be overdosed by the wedding prep updates that they won’t be as interested as much to look forward to your wedding. Also, you wouldn’t want your friends to ‘unfollow’ you one by one, would you?

4. Save it for the big day

Wonder why most wedding customs prohibit the groom from seeing the bride a day before the wedding? The same reason goes with keeping your gown a ‘secret’ until the day of the wedding itself. Of course, it depends on one’s culture, custom or religious belief. But for many, the wedding gown is considered sacred just like the ceremony itself so it is just right to keep it from the public eyes until the big moment. Also, isn’t it more interesting to keep everyone wondering on how the bride will look on her gown on that special day?

5. Limited photo ops

May it be for privacy reasons or for a request for a solemn ceremony, you–as a couple–may ask your guests to refrain from taking photos at a certain length or time on your wedding. Of course, you have to inform your guests beforehand that you only want your photos to be taken by the official photographer. If you don’t, your guests may assume that they can take a photo of you anytime they want.

6. Limited photo sharing

The same goes in posting your wedding photos. If you don’t want your guests to post a photo of your wedding ahead of you, or to share it with outsiders, then you have to tell them of your request before the wedding starts.

7. “To All” vs. “To You”

Giving ‘thank you’ notes or letters to your guests for being able to celebrate the important day in your life with you is not compulsory, but is very much appreciated. It makes your guests feel special. A ‘thank you’ post on your social media accounts will do, especially if you can’t afford to thank your guests one by one. But of course, always remember that a personal note is still irreplaceable.

8. This is it!

This is it! From being ‘engaged’, you may now change your Facebook status to ‘married’. And just got married you have, so let the world know of the good news!

Keep in mind that etiquette guidelines and recommendations still vary depending on one’s culture or society. One or some points from the list may not matter to a certain group of people, but the bottom line is to keep a harmonious atmosphere within your online community by being wise, careful, and aware of your social media actions.

Source: Social Media Etiquette for Weddings by Diane Gottsman

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