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Wedding Planning

Timely, credible and useful advice for soon to wed couple

10 Things I Wish My Bride Knew: An Insight to the Mind of the Groom When Planning for Your Wedding

Yes usually weddings are more for the bride. The theme, the flowers, the music, the wedding gown, the venue–all of these satisfy a dream that the bride has had ever since she was young. And usually the groom just follows whatever his bride wants as long as it fits their budget.

But what goes on in the mind of a groom when planning for a wedding?

After doing a series of interviews with several grooms, we’ve compiled a list of 10 things that grooms would like to let their brides know about what matters most to them with regard to the preparations.

1) Brides need to be more proactive in finalizing the details of the wedding after the groom has proposed.

In a perfect world, we’d like to think that men would take all the initiative in setting the date of the wedding after they proposed. After all, they were the ones who asked us if we wanted to get married to them in the first place. But apparently, women need to really sit their men down after the proposal to finalize the details of when they are getting married, the venue, the theme, etc. in order to get the ball rolling.

“It’s rare for men to have a vision of what they want their wedding to look like. They just want to get married PERIOD. So it’s up to the wife to decide on the details…” says one groom.

2) Men look at things from a macro perspective, so don’t get frustrated if they leave all the details up to you.

When interviewing a couple, the bride mentioned how her husband was proudly telling people that all the things were set for their wedding way ahead of their wedding date. She just kept silent because in her mind, there was still so much to be done–the gift registry, setting up of the venue, etc. which were all micro details that grooms normally overlook.

3) Complement each other’s working habits.

One couple’s main problem was the idea that the groom was a planner while the bride was a TOTAL crammer. It was the main cause of their fights! So they just ended up learning to delegate accordingly and to adjust to each other’s style of getting things done.

4) Guys don’t know much about flowers–except for roses. So take the initiative to decide which ones you like.

This is pretty self-explanatory. If the guy you’re with is so particular about the intricate details of the floral arrangements–then ladies think twice about this person!

5) Men are visual beings so sometimes the reason why they don’t get involved in the wedding preparations is because everything is just described to them, without clear visual examples.

One of the grooms said that he normally had a hard time when the supplier would talk to his wife about how the venue would be set up without any mock-up representation of how it will look like. So for example, instead of a mere verbal description of how the tables and chairs will be arranged, what the supplier can do is to set up the table the way it will be in the wedding and the groom can then give his insights about his preferences afterward.

6) Food design is very important.

Again, men are visual. We can’t say this enough. So if you are pushing for a certain catering service, ensure that the way the meals are presented to your groom appeals not just to his taste buds, but also to his sight.

7) Know your priorities.

It’s awesome if you don’t have any limitations in terms of budget. But if you do, then it’s best to sit down with your groom to determine what are the components of your wedding that you and him will not compromise on. For example, for one couple their priority was on capturing the memories (via videos, photos), ensuring that the guests were happy with the food, and of course, their rings. So they allocated the majority of their budget to satisfy these three things.

8) Although the budget is of prime importance, for many grooms, this comes secondary to the happiness of their bride.

“Money is secondary to men as long as it looks good. I’ll personally go with whatever makes my bride feel special during the day. The primary concern of most grooms is to make the bride happy,” concludes one of the grooms.

9) But STILL, please be considerate about the groom’s budget limitations.

Ladies you want to make sure that your wedding will not cause you and your groom to get into great debt just before you start a family! So be considerate also about the limitations in terms of what kind of wedding you can have.

10) Don’t forget that at the end of the day, what matters most is that you STAY together and get MARRIED.

Many couples don’t get to enjoy the process of preparing for their wedding because they get caught up wanting their own version of the event implemented. Some even break up in the process due to extreme pressure.

One of the grooms we interviewed highlighted that he and his bride made an agreement that no matter what happens, they will enjoy the process of planning for the event. The moment it gets too stressful, they remind themselves of the ultimate purpose of their wedding–which is really the exchange of their vows as husband and wife, at the core of it all.

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