11 Tips for a Healthy and Happy Marriage

Like what the old and wise people say, marriage does not stop from the wedding. It only marks another chapter in your relationship as a couple. Well yes, congratulations for a successful wedding ceremony – with an excellent venue, top-tier catering services, well-planned program, and attentive guests. But then again, whatever you had in that day or night is different from the one that you will have for the rest of your lives.

Marriage may be overwhelming and sounds like an adventure for others. So for this journey to last healthily and happily, what can you do?

Do things together

One definite way that could help you achieve a healthy, happy and long-lasting marriage is by doing physical activities together. Basically, doing things together already have a good effect for the both of you, as individuals and as a couple. What may happen if you will be engaging in physical activities together, right? You may try out dancing, exercising or running. Also, why not do household chores together?

On the other hand, if you or your partner (or the both of you) are not interested in that kind of things, reading books together or doing things that interest the both of you will also do.

Travel just the two of you

Having kids and other responsibilities may, at some point, some sort of take over your relationship as a couple. Things are definitely not the same since you have many things to consider. Nevertheless, your bond as partners should never fade. Travelling is often perceived as a way where one can relax and reconnect with nature and with oneself.

Thru this activity, you and your partner may savor your few moments of being alone together. It is a rare opportunity that you can get to do this thing even if you are already married and with kids.

Make your day offs count!

Work, work, work – never-ending work. Unfortunately, others are too attached to their business even if they are already at home (which is very sad). Work-life balance might be too idealistic, but it is not so hard to achieve. Well, it depends on the context of our jobs, right? But giving enough time for the family and friends is something that we should not take for granted.

Some only have one day off for a week. You may be lucky if you have two or three. What you can and should is to make those days count. Leave your works at the office because they won’t be called as “rest day” for nothing.

Treat each other like best friends

More than being lovers and partners treat each other like best friends. Like what they say, nothing could beat the relationship of having your best friend as your lifelong partner. Be open and share secrets to each other, just like what you do with your closest friends. Remember that you will be with that person for the rest of your life and you do not want to have a weak and unhealthy relationship with them.

Reminisce and relieve your young days

Aside from treating each other like best friends, another good exercise is by reminiscing and reliving your good old days. Hang out and have fun like kids! Go to where you usually go when you were just starting out as a couple. Eat the food you missed since you have been busy with your other engagements. Watch movies, stay in a coffee shop, play arcades, swim at the beach or at a local pool.

Truly, age is just a number. What matters most is what is in your mind and your heart. Time may pass by, but the memories you share together will forever be there.

Never forget the 6 C’s of relationships

We are all aware that love is fundamental in every relationship. And according to Collette Gee, a well-known Holistic Relationship Coach and a matchmaker, there are six essential Cs in every happy and healthy relationship. Here are they:

• Communication – Every individual is honest and thinking before speaking. They follow active listening meaning they listen to understand and not just to reply. Moreover, they are open to see different points of view or perspectives.
• Compromise – This requires the concept of giving and take. Practicing active listening and proper negotiation is very much important in compromising. It is not all the time one should be followed, and one will remain passive. Both have the time to speak up, listen, follow and be followed.
• Commitment – As coming from Collette’s words, “Commitment is more than being in an exclusive relationship. It is an integral part of a healthy relationship that involves a mutually agreed upon, and a willingness between both parties to commit.”
• Compatibility – True enough, opposites do attract but not all the time. It is also important that the both of you have a common ground where you jive or understand each other. Having everything the same does not equate to compatibility.
• Consideration (respect) – Consideration to others’ emotions and personality is an essential key to a good and lasting relationship. Collette said that there are four elements of respect: attention, honor or esteem, valuing and appropriate conduct. Never forget that a relationship will not flourish and last happily if there would be no mutual respect from the individuals.
• Conduct – Conduct is appropriate to mutual respect, as what Collette argued. It is probably the totality of consideration or respect – attention, honor or esteem and valuing.

Visit your doctor and dentists

Regular check-ups are essential and making sure that both of you is well and healthy. Never miss those dates and prioritize those. Schedule those and make sure you are going to follow it. There is no next time for health and wellness.

Talk about fun, philosophical, random things

Aside from physical health, mental health is also vital and necessary in keeping a healthy and happy marriage. Go for a walk and discuss over fun and silly things. You may sip some coffee while having a good conversation about philosophical and exciting topics. In short – make a good discourse with your partner. It may sound ridiculous at first like the both of you are acting to be smart. You are both gifted with brains and wittiness, right?

Do not be shy to open up and listen to your partner’s comments and point of view. Learn how to accept that it is not all the time you will have the same opinion on matters. Agree to disagree, argue and debate but at the end of the day, do not forget to reconcile. Just be objective while you at the same time is being personal.

Inspire and motivate each other

A healthy and happy marriage is the one that inspires and motivates the individuals to be the best version of them. They will feel that they are loved and cared for, that they are important. The partner will make his or her special someone believe that there will always be room for improvements and it is never bad. It is good to be better and chase after your dreams and goals in life.

Make sure for the each of you to have a “me day”

While it is good that you have activities done as one, it would also be a good breather that each of you will have a “me day.” My professor shared that she and her husband reserved at least one Saturday per month for each them to bond with their friends, families, officemates and whoever (as long as they are not doing bad things). They believe that their individuality is still important even if they are already married and officially as one. She said that there are times that the both of them gets lazy to go out and they end up bonding with each other.

This point is very much related to the next one:

Do not lose yourself in the process

Your personal identity is still valuable even if you are already married or have a family of your own. You, as a person, are different from anyone else. You are not simply a spouse, a parent, a child or whatever – you are you. You are the only one who can define yourself – not your work, duties, and responsibilities, neither are your possessions.

Living a married life is really different and sometimes makes you wonder, “Do I still know me?” A relationship will not last happily and healthily if you lose a grip on yourself. How will you function as a couple if you do not even know who you are? So please be guided: do not lose yourself in the process.

Some people get to know more about themselves while they are in the journey with other people. So enjoy that!

 

We hope that you get enough idea on what you can do with your partner or with yourself. Loving each other is probably the greatest key for a good relationship, but it should be the kind of love that empowers the both of you and your marriage as well. Have fun this crazy and beautiful ride!